Saturday 3 March 2012

Drifting

Have you seen the smile fade away?
With the coming of the torrent of tears,
There was nothing anyone could say,
Not a whisper for her it appears.

She cried night and day, for the past
Letting the pain rule her mind so strong,
Across a plain of memories so vast,
Whatever they said, they did, it was all wrong…

She tried so often to believe the words utter to her,
She sought solace in the future unknown, cold,
Watched idea and plans roll in her mind aiming for summer,
Yet always she fell out of the dream’s fold.

Outside the sun shines so bright, in a canvass of blue,
The wind brings freshness and scents of spring to come,
Your words of hope to me no longer ring true,
Not saying you were lying, just that dreaming is only for some….

I am not some people, I am me, broken, tired,
You are you, full of promise, sweet friendship,
And when I finally get the lights off, lying on my bed,
I see the blood of this union of words slowly drip….

Gratefulness from the heart is all that I can offer
You tried so hard to bring hope in my mind, thank you,
Yet each time the idea floated away, faster and faster
And with it my dreams hurriedly flew.

No longer can I see in my eyes the spirit full of adventure,
A ghost resides within, mad and raging,
Consuming all I had good in me, I am sure,
And I let it, waiting patiently for the promised ending.

Tormented Souls

When will you realise that it was you all along?
You who broke the last defences
You point to the mother, the husband yet you are utterly wrong,
Between you three there are few differences....

You knew all along how fragile all was around me,
Yet it was my name you called again and again,
Like throwing a brick through the window of all I held happy,
You threw me in a hot pot full of pain.

Turned your back on me who saved you,
Left me to fight so often for my sanity,
Taunting me, picking fights so often too,
You held on to life through the thread of your mental frailty....

I hear your words devoid of meaning
While I lie to you each time I speak to you,
Trust and love for you is never again happening,
None of this from me will ever again be true....

A mentor in the art of seeking pain to death
A monster in the path of my family
You never gave me a chance to regain my strength
One day, one way I will make you see...

Until then I'll play the game you played with me
See who from us both will find peace in this torment
I know deep down, neither of us is happy,
Yet I will haunt you to your dying moments....

Friday 2 March 2012

GOODNESS REPAID

All the good of the world is all but short lived,
The love in this life fading fast from hearts once eager,
Lust and hurt intertwined like water dilutes the wine
As darkness engulfs the one bright skies of a young life….

Humans are nothing but hatred seeking to change,
Yet little within us changes truly but the love once felt,
Slowly drying into hate so deep and hearty, it crumbles lives away,
Life is nothing but a test from God, testing those who by all means wish happiness.

Then come a day when all the goodness tried on people is thrown back at you,
Like a dirty sheet soiled by the infant child scared in his deepest dreams,
As if none of it mattered but the comfort of the recipient of the goodness said
For some goodness by selfishness is often repaid.


FEARS

Moments staring at the screen and mind equally blank
Just the heart screaming something seems so wrong
Finding it so hard to let all out, to be just frank
Letting the words pour out at the tune of a song.

Staring at your names wondering how long you will remain
Before one day comes and bored of what is so often with you
Leaving in that heart a gap throbbing full of pain
No blame would come to you, yet the pain fills that hole too….

Fears maybe unfounded rage in a soul so alone at times, days,
Occupying this mind’s time in an empty space that once was a woman
As strong and bright as the hot sun’s summer rays
With only one option but that of waiting for what is bound to happen.

Oh life is cruel to the mind of the one who loses so easily
Torturing her with doubts and questions never ending
Fighting day by day to keep sanity flowing free,
Knowing, fearing the inevitable truth life will bring.


Drowning in the past

Lost in the turbulent waters of a past I no longer wish to know,
Life broken from too much things, memories that refuse to go,
Living a nightmare refusing to end, full of mistakes long gone,
Liberty is like smoke to me because of something I’ve done.

There is nothing there to wake me from this terrible fate
Only the hope of an ending coming soon, still waiting for the date,
Fading in history unknown, no one to be known, no one worth,
Leaving life as I left that meant so little all along to us both.

You tore a life that wasn’t yours to play with at all,
Taking possession of a young heart, kicking around like a ball,
You never saw the hurt you caused, all had a reason for your doing,
Destroying a life, breaking a person, all of this without even thinking.

I pray daily for your destruction, suffering, your pain to increase,
Yet we both know that this will never make the pain in me cease.
A monster, a liar is what you were when I met you so long ago,
I failed to realise it, I only allowed for this ego of yours to grow.

If I had known why you picked me out of the blue,
Realising that it was needing something, if I knew
Back then that you never intended on happiness
For the one you chose, you’d have ended up with less…

You think out of the two you lost the most out of this mess,
You clearly do not understand what is the happiness
I sought to bring us all, busy as you were ruining it all,
Leaving me stumbling off the cliff with nothing to break the fall.

The only peace I get from this life is knowing you will rot in hell,
With all the liars, wife beaters, thieves including your kind as well,
Savouring in my sorrow the knowledge that you too suffer too,
Hoping that you will die in this state, alone and truly blue.

If I am to be a prisoner to your mistakes for the rest of my days,
So be it. I’ll make sure that you never forget the result of your ways,
Bemoan the loss of your daughter quietly, for you worked well
Making sure she grew burning with hate, hoping for you to end in Hell.